How to lift your Self -Esteem

Adesh Kumar Mishra
4 min readFeb 19, 2022

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”

— Maxwell Maltz

Self-esteem is the opinion of one about himself. How you think of yourself, and your life is related to the self-esteem you have for yourself. People with high self-esteem see themselves as confident, virtuous, and promising; and generally, have a positive outlook of their future. While people who have low self-esteem see themselves as worthless, unproductive, unwelcome: and generally, have a negative interpretation of their future.

People with low self-esteem tend to criticize themselves and feel anxious, depressed, unmotivated. They have a poor opinion of themselves and avoid social gatherings meetups. Generally, they think they are for nothing, and no one would love them or like them. Having a critical opinion of themselves, they lack confidence and avoid confrontation at all costs. Whether it can harm them mentally, physically, or economically. This article will analyze the causes and solutions for people facing low self-esteem issues.

Causes -

  1. When you are surrounded by people who are over-critical about you. You will develop a habit of self-doubt and hatred towards yourself. It may be an ongoing process or a memory from your past.
  2. Engaging with people who are disapproving or uninvolved emotionally. example, loving a person who is not reciprocating
  3. Going through a traumatic and stressful life event like physical injury, job loss, death of loved one, breakup, etc.
  4. Having a negative belief system like a negative perspective about your looks, personality, job, or communication skills
  5. Unrealistic and unreasonable comparison with others, especially on social media

Workplace stress has become one of the leading causes of low self-esteem, unnecessary politics, unreasonable targets, and constant workload. Higher unemployment rates, zero to no job security, and lifestyle inflation are responsible for increased anxiety, stress, and depression among workers. These factors have contributed to low self-esteem and trapped us inside a vicious loop. If you are trapped in this vicious cycle, consider taking the following steps to emerge successfully.

Solutions -

1) Be Kind to yourself -

When over-critical people surround us, we tend to blame ourselves for everything. Like, why am I such a fool? etc.

Remember, even if you are not good at anything, it’s not your duty or life motto to be good at it. If you are bad at something, that does not mean you are not good at anything. If you find that someone is constantly criticizing, then confront him or avoid him altogether.

2) Don’t involve yourself when there is no reciprocity -

If you love someone or want to be with someone, then you must discuss the matter with them in person. But, if you find that there is no reciprocity from them, you should stop wasting time and effort on them. It should not take decades for someone to accept you or get involved with you physically or emotionally.

3) Start Embracing the uncertainty -

When we are going through a tragic life event like serious illness, job loss, love loss, or serious accident, we remember the good old days when we were fit, employed, loved, or happy. As soon as you start remembering the good old days, happiness starts fading, and misery takes over. When you want things to happen in a certain way, the uncertain nature of objects leaves you in grief and pain.

Once you start embracing the uncertainty, the mental burden of being certain goes down with acceptance. Remember the ancient proverb, “ This shall pass too.”

4) Changing your belief system -

Sometimes, our negative belief system does more harm than the surroundings. We develop our belief system over years of social interaction. Since childhood, we have been engaging with people, for example, schoolteachers, family, friends, and relatives. How they treat us matters most in our upcoming life. If your school life revolves around overly critical teachers, bullying friends, or blaming parents, then the chances of developing the negative belief system are much higher.

If you constantly hear words like, “ Are you stupid?”, “ Are you a fool?”, “ You won’t do any good in your life”;” You are incompetent “ then your self-esteem will go down each time, you will hear these kinds of words.

5) Do not compare yourself with others -

In this digital age, people are spending their time on social media more than ever. Platforms like Instagram or LinkedIn have become mediums to display your talent or skillset. But this is not limited to this only; to impress others, we are constantly putting our heads into a hot oven. When your happiness depends on the outer circumstances (number of likes, views, or shares) that are not in your control, you are bound to suffer because there is no end to validation seeking.

Sometimes, circumstances are such that we are unable to defend our self-esteem. But, when we are in control, we should try everything in our capacity to save ourselves from toxic people, organizations, and work culture. Our life is much more than our profiles, portfolios, or work record, so do not sideline it.

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